The Science of Sleep
The Experiential Paper of Alison Bridges
During the Cannes Film Festival there are certain things one must sacrifice in order to make their time spent worthwhile; a healthy non-Jambon et Fromage filled diet, hygiene (I’m looking at you Grafton), dealing with courteous and mild mannered people, and not degrading yourself for a ticket just to name a few. One of these many creature comforts that you must adapt to festival life is that tiny little nuisance known as sleep. I’ve always considered myself to be a connoisseur of sorts on the art and majesty of sleep. I’ve spent a lifetime doing it. I’ve perfected the “crumple” sleeping style in which your body resembles a ball of crumpled paper, I spent years studying with Buddhists monks in Laos on the ancient discipline of the REM, and just last month I single handedly constructed the sleep chair, patent pending. So it was especially important to me that I get my sleep.
As the festival begins you’ll be so hopped up on excitement and nesspresso that you’ll barely notice the dwindling amounts of shuteye you’re getting every night. Then one day it hits you, literally hits you, like when I fell asleep for the first time in a theater and I hit my head on the armrest trying to get comfortable. Believe me it’s easier than it sounds. It was by this time that I realized I would not be able to go on like this for much longer, I had to adapt to my surroundings. You know what they say, “When in Rome do as the Romans do.” Well when in France that translates to, it’s okay to be openly rude and fall asleep wherever your head may land.
It only took me a few days to begin spotting the best seats in the house for prime optimum sleeping. Each theater had it’s own feel, it’s own life, and with that came it’s own secret corner best for eager young cinephiles in love and sleepy people pretending to be big name buyers like myself. As I’d walk into a theater the first thing I’d do was scan the crowd for any older men or husky women. They’d be the first to hit the hay too and their snoring would probably be louder then mine. They would be my scapegoat should I disturb any viewers by me. I’m sure I angered plenty of people in the theaters, as I would make people stand as I waded through the most crowded isles to catch a seat next to grandpa and Ms. Piggy over there.
Whether you got in a good sleep for the day heavily depended on where you spent it. For some, the AmPav was the place to be, for others like myself the theaters were where most of my best napping took place, but each theater had it’s pros and cons. The Debussy was known for two things: its depressing movies and its soft fabric covered walls that stretched along the Corbille seating section. I cried in the Debussy when watching Beasts of a Southern Wild, and then I cried again after subjecting myself to almost two hours of Confessions of a Child of the Century. Either way you were going to cry there were no two ways around it. Whether you go right or left once you entered the theater was really up to your discretion but I personally preferred to lean to my right so I zeroed in on the left side once I entered every day. Try to get a seat as close to the front as possible but always make sure to get the seat by the wall. I would sell my grandma on the black market for a seat next to the wall. That’s how serious this is. Nothing takes away your faith in humanity like seeing two grown men wrestling for wall seats.
In the Palais, it really depends on which theater you manage to find yourself sitting in and how terrible the movie is. Since the Palais was part of the market screenings you were bound to have some stinkers in there. Go to them! They make for some of the best naps. One of my personal favorites and one that I recommended to everyone I talked with was a little film called The King of the Night, about a smooth talking strip club manager who pursues his dreams of becoming a filmmaker. The steady cam shots of girls on stripper polls and the blaring techno really lulls you right to sleep. The chairs in each Palais Theater are all the same. Bright fire engine red and much more firm then any of the other theaters. These are best for sleepers who have back problems or who need a place with better lumbar support. I suggest a middle seat in these theaters since the seats by the wall are optically confusing and you will not in fact be able to reach it unless your neck is 2 feet long. Rookie mistake made day 1.
The Star, Arcades, Olympia, and the Gray are all in my opinion the optimum places for a good Cannes nap. First of all they are all far away and hard to fine. The walk alone will tire you out enough to sleep through any movie. Secondly, not many people see the films playing in these arenas during the festival, and thirdly, seats have been worn down more than any other group of theaters due to the fact that these are actual operating theaters during the rest of the calendar year when the elite deems Cannes “so last week” and leaves. You’ll find a lot of foreign films playing in these theaters as well and just like a good book before bed those subtitles will have you meeting the sand man before you can say “Whoops, I’m sorry for drooling on you sir.”
Finally you have the Lumiere. I do not dare waste a single moment of light in the Lumiere by having my eyes closed. I barely even blink in there and if for some reason I have to I always feel guilty afterwards.
While sure you can go to bed at a decent hour and not drain your body of any and all energy it may have during the festival by partying, why would you? Cannes is the most exhilarating two weeks of your life so enjoy it while you can and find yourself a good wall seat!
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